We’ll call him Squabula.ġ0) First Nations Hasselhoff appears, and he’s joined forces with Flying Trenchcoat David! Their evil plan appears to be to scare the bejeepers out of everybody by dancing. Soon, he’s back in the air, flying as well as the Puma Man- and, what’s worse, he’s found an accomplice, albeit one wearing a mask and bobbing up and down like a fishing lure. Real David’s cube attack has temporarily suspended his ability to fly, so he’s standing on the seat of a motorcycle while he looks for Real David. He claims to be hooked on a feeling.ĩ) Flying Trenchcoat David is at it again.

while he teleports the heck outta there.Ĩ) Ohmygod there’s ANOTHER one- this is Earnest, Cheerful, Enjoying His Cruise Through Denali National Park Even Though He Forgot His Jacket Hasselhoff, and it’s unclear whether he’ll side with Real David and Crocodile Hunter David, or whether he’ll sell his soul to Flying Trenchcoat David or what.

speak via the cube and decide First Nations David is too dangerous to be free.ħ) Egads! Flying Trenchcoat David is, um, flying! And wearing a trenchcoat, no less! He’s poised to attack Real David, but R.D. I heard Bono did this to explain the AIDS crisis to Jesse Helms, but his cubes probably weren’t that good because he’s not half the singer Real David is. is becoming unhinged by the many other Hasselhoffs floating around.Ħ) Real David is back, only now he’s on a train, and he’s conjuring up video cubes to assess the situation. Someone spiked that pond with acid.ĥ) Crocodile Hunter David can jump through time and space like Scott Bakula, and teleports to one of those PBS anthropology specials. Angels (or kids dressed like them) are flying overhead. Real David gives First Nations David a glance, then gets so angry that one of his clones has escaped from the lab that he does a Jedi leap off the wedding cake and into the sky.Ĥ) Crocodile Hunter David also seems disturbed about these developments- so much so that he’s having trouble keeping his balance. Except that…ģ) First Nations Hasselhoff appears! He’s wearing a fuzzy fur coat, sledding down a mountain at the North Pole and inquiring about exciting new business opportunities in the Nunavut Territory. The dog isn’t so much dancing as he is standing around and barking- he’s probably scared out of his wits.Ģ) The REAL David Hasselhoff- yes, the one from Baywatch (and not the one from Knight Rider- everyone knows that was a clone) – is at a wedding, dancing and singing like we all know he should. There’s very little I can add to this horrifying development, except to simply run down the events as listed in this film:ġ) A video toaster montage shows a “Crocodile Hunter” Hasselhoff dancing up and down with a bear and a dog.

The proof, of course, comes from a 2002 documentary film called “Hooked on a Feeling,” in which dozens of Hasselhoff clones are locked in a bitter civil war, running about the earth and using supernatural powers to wreak havoc on each other. And you thought bird flu was a global epidemic in the making – holy hell, the world is being invaded by clones of David Hasselhoff!

David hasslehoff hooked ona feeling